The Curious Case of Indoor Advertising

Betty was very rarely allowed to go outside, under the order of her parents. But it wasn’t for fear of getting mugged or robbed or attacked—no, Betty’s parents had a much more unusual concern for their daughter: one of all the out of home advertising in the world.

Betty’s parents were afraid that all of the advertising that existed in the outside world was sure to corrupt the mind of their beloved Betty, and they were going to do everything in their power to prevent that from happening. They even resorted to an unusual method so that Betty could have the most ‘normal’ life that they could stand for her to have. Rather than allowing her to become exposed to the evil out of home advertising that was all around her, they would expose her to their own brand of indoor advertising.

So, from a very early age, Betty was seeing all kinds of advertising all throughout her home. Her parents would put up small billboards next to the books they wanted her to read. They would use things like easels and chalkboards to construct these temporary signages, being able to erase and change them quickly as the situation called for it.

Then, as Betty got a little older, the lure of television began to take hold. Her parents would act out little skits for Betty to advertise healthy food options like fruit and vegetables, rather than letting her see anything on a real television about chocolate, candy and soft drinks.

But, after years of doing everything they could with their bizarre indoor advertising methods, Betty’s parents could fight the real world no longer. They had been able to home-school her for twelve years, but now it was time for her to go to university. She was one of the brightest and healthiest people around, but she lasted about two days in the real world before going insane.

Betty then spent the next decade or so in therapy.